A Battle between 2 gods!

Sunday was Locked and Loaded (forgive the pun) for Airsoft all day.
for those who don’t know what Airsoft is… its basically adults who play with high powered BB guns (plastic BB’s) and go out to a field with a bunch of other men and pretend they would actually survive on the Battle field in real life.

Airsoft is big across the world but as per all gun based sports….. It Started in America…. Yesss you can roll your eyes and say “typical under your breath”

We Had to leave the house by about 11Am and the commute to the Airsoft club is about 30 Minutes. We take a Jeepney to town then grab a Trike out to San Miguel.
the Club has been established since 2018 and has around 40 Memebers, marge claims she was the first female at the club…but no one could confirm this…. Or deny it so take it as you like.
the age group at the club is anyone from 18 – 60 and looks like they come from all walks of life.

there is definatly something macho about the club and the guys all stand around charging there makeshift look alike weapons with Co2 and ammunition. You can get all sorts of guns and types.
-desert Eagle
-1911
-Glock
-Ak47
-M4 Grand
-M16
-Dragunov

you name it they make it.

for the small price of 25$ each we get given vests and guns and told to act responsible.
you are also given a Face mask to protect your eyes.

we are then all pulled into a group and go over the rules each round lasts around 15 minutes and there are different rules of engagement depending on what type of game is being played.

the Guns don’t shoot straight.. like anything they are accurate at only so far… then BB Drop starts or wind can take effect as well…. Once you get the hang of this its relatively effective up to 35 Meters.
the biggest rule of the game is honesty and if you get shot its best to put your hands up and give your position and walk off…. So basically your dead in a simple form.

well with no experience n this game what I decided was to just go all in and see exactly what this game was all about…….Annand dead….. in the first 1 minute…. But as a gentleman I put my hands up and said I was out.

when I returned to the martial I said… well im dead and he laughed and said..

“you can go back out as it was only 1 Minute”

I responded with saying

“your first and most important rule is honesty, and as a used car salesman that is a very hard trait for to live by….. but I cant offend your rules by breaking them”

The martial stood at attention and saluted me in military fashion and said that he was proud that I had taken that choice……. So it was all a test to see how honest I was …… well im glad I passed that with flying colours… PHEW!!!

At the End of the first game we returned to the Camp for some much needed water
and break. During this time a second bunch went out for a warm up match.

at this point of having a drink of water my Stomach gurgles with the Fury of the Poseidon and Zeus Fighting out their mythological differences…… best news of all the only toilet here is nothing short of a outhouse and the storm I was brewing needed Caroma of the most caring time….. hey I’m an Athlete I can hold this for a few hours…. I mean If I can hold it on a 6 hour train ride from Bucharest to Timisoara I can do a few rounds of shoot shoot bang Bang in the woods.

Round 2 for our squad started about 20 minutes later and the 2 mythological gods fighting battle decided to create thunder and with the risk of letting the thunder creep out with a crack some brown lightening was thrown in for good measure… just to remind me that I’m not a god and only human….. at this point I stood up in the middle of the game …. Took 3 BBS to the chest and bowed out of the game to retire to the temple of my unforeseen fate……

the good news is as I walked to my temple of shame with a wide gated waddle I hear the Martial yell out that there is just one minute to go of that game so I definitely did much better the second round….. until I had friendly fire in my Jocks.

My time in the Temple with the gods was sobering at least knowing that at 31 years of age the Japanese pink pills of doom had a delayed effect and gave me the bowel control of a 90 year old…. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom was like looking at a dog in the street that hadn’t be washed and loved in a decade…… more importantly how do you describe this to someone…..

like do I go….
“hey marge I need to go home”… or do I go “I don’t feel very well I might sit the next few rounds out… I pulled a muscle”

Or do you just say …… “hey remember those pills you gave me last night… turns out they do work ….. it just takes 15 hours to get moving….oh and I have also Shit myself in the middle of the battlefield… don’t tell anyone”

I opted for “I feel sick still I might sit this round out”

Round 3 came and went and I spent that time playing it cool talking to the other members like nothing was wrong… and luckily they didn’t smell or suspect a thing!!.

at 4PM the Rain came down… and it came down hard…. Just long and hard and didn’t let up… after 40 Minutes of watching to wash the ground to a point where the water was pooling on the grass around us a trike turned up and we boarded cautiously. 2 of Marge’s girl friends hoped on the drivers side as well and they were going back to Marge’s for some drinks to celebrate the fact it was Sunday…..i think they wanted an excuse to buy a bottle of brandy at the local corner store.

We took the Trike the whole way back to Laguna as the streets were flooded and traffic was abysmal. The ride cost about 300 Peso… so 10NZD in round senses which is cheap a taxi in Dunedin for that distance would cost like 100$ so it was my shout to the girls… plus no one had any money… that wasn’t soaked.

Marge on the journey didn’t say much but asked if I was okay and feeling alright and I had to tell her that her pink pills of fury had created a nuclear explosion…… and the trike howled with laughter…. So yeah great not only did I shit myself at full force in the field …. I now had marge laughing telling me she should have warned me not to trust a fart!… to make it worse the second encore of mythological beasts was starting to happen.

walking in the door to the house was swift and with military precision…. Past her family in the living room… a towel from the bedroom and I was off to liberate all Greek and roman gods in a white temple of Caroma…… I’m pretty sure during this unholy ritual of heaven and earth I could hear angels singing in praise.

so the pink pills should not be trusted at any point if you have not been to the bathroom before leaving the house….. Air soft is actually quite fun and if your looking for a new hobby…. Otago Does have a club…. The guns are quite expensive though so keep that in mind.

lastly……………. I think I might be 5KGS lighter after todays experiments.