Augustin is a man of Many talents, one of the being the ability to be a great host and the second being basically a walking talking google map.
Mercury is one of the 12 Roman gods and is also Known as the God of Traveling, His Temple is the Aventine in Rome upon the date of 495 BC the Romans worshiped him, he was the most Clever of the Roman gods and was believed to instill, shopkeepers and merchants, travelers and transporters of goods, and thieves and tricksters.
Today is Wednesday, Marge and I have been kindly talked into the great Idea of renting a scooter to travel up to the Chocolate hills in the centre of the island, and from there we will make a round trip to the southern most beach to catch the sunset to end our time glamping in Alona.
Bike rentals are relatively cheap here , its 700 Peso’s for the day of rental and that is a full 24 hours (approx.: 24Nzd). the bike arrives at 10 AM and we check our google map locations Augustin had saved for us last night over a few beers and a good chat.
The chocolate hills are located around 140KM in the mountains from Alona and the road is a curly back country road that takes us through farm land, rice fields and small towns and villages.
Marge opts for me to drive (i have lied to her and told her i know what I’m doing), I think the last time I rode Motor Cycle was when I was at my best friends place, Ben Mackay when I was 11 years old…. so boy is she in for a treat….. little do I know, marge doesn’t even know how to ride a bike!
after about 20 Minutes of leaving Glamping Alona, we have to have words about the physics of bikes and its important that the person on the back leans into the corners, as them keeping their weight upright is making for rather deathly cornering.
as we travel through the farm country we both slowly got the hang of what needs to happen in order to make safe turns … but its safe to say that we need a lot more practice in this department.
Gerald rides shotgun on my front in my back pack and marge spends majority of the trip up to the plateau in the hills taking videos on her phone and go pro which made some cornering jobs rather interesting.
one thing I didn’t check was the location marge had loaded up in her phone and around mid day we found ourselves going down a very muddy gravel road heading towards a paddock of Carabao…. and there were not any Chocolate hills……. and it looked nothing like what we had seen on google images.
we stopped and had a stretch and marge had been begging me to stop to take a photo of the Carabao.
luckily in the process a lady who looked like Jackie Chan was hobbling towards us from the muddy track and we decided at this point with no cell reception it might be best to ask for directions.
after so squabbling like chickens for 10 minutes we ascertained that we are in the province that has the chocolate hills….. but not near them. Mrs. Jackie Chan instructs us to go back up the muddy hill and take the main road until we come to a “T” junction , from there we turn right and then follow the road until we find the sign “chocolate Hills”
35 minutes up the road we find the turn off and its an access way to a Look out, we roar up the hill like I’m Michael Schumacher about to win the 2001 Grand Prix. we roar through the security checkpoint hand have to hit the anchors and back up to pay a Toll to use the road that goes up … surprise surprise ….
200 Peso’s later we are nearing the top of the carpark. we park the bike up and I’m dying for water, our skin feels tight and wind burnt… despite the 4 stops for SPF 50 Sunscreen and lip balm.. courtesy of Blistex USA.
the car park doesn’t offer much of a view. located in the North Eastern end of the carpark there is a flight of stairs with around 400 Steps, this takes you to the summit where you get a Panoramic view of the surrounding area.
surprisingly everyone gives way to me assuming I’m super fit and able to climb 400 steps like its a walk in the park…. I don’t take the offers to pass anyone. getting to the top without needing a coronary bypass will be a success for today.
at the top we do that whole tourist thing… photos, pose, pant like wild animals… and then we notice in the distance the clouds are looking angry and it is the exact direction we need to go.
here in the tropics if it rains once a day , it is completely normal….. however that rain will soak you to the core within 1 minute of being exposed.
after our 45 minutes at the summit we decide we better make a break for coast that will take us around 1.5 hours to get to.
one question answered on this journey towards the coast is the famous joke.
“why did the chicken cross the road”……well I can tell you it crossed the road to get hit by a Kiwi riding a Scooter at 80kM/h and disintegrate into 1000 feathers.
20 Minutes after riding towards our fate, we start to feel the first few drops of rain start to hit our bodies.
i had the faint words of a friends resonate withing my head “when we ride motorcycles we time our movements to avoid white lines….. especially in the wet”.
as the road starts to get damp I ask Marge to hold on tight and i wanted to preform a hard braking procedure to ascertain what grip we have.
i Slam the brakes on and we seem to have good traction, as we accelerate again i let a tire clip the white line and i instantly feel the steering turn to jelly and the back tire feel like its floating on ice….. well experiment complete….. no white lines and reduce speed accordingly.
we pass a few other road users at this time and about 5 minutes up the road a wall of water approaches us at great speed. in the blink of an eye we are soaked and agree we need to find cover quickly.
as we round a few corners we see a Vulcanizing station(tyre shop) and it appears that there are multiple people taking shelter there, we follow suit. the bike comes to a skidding stop in the grass.
i flick the stand down and rip the key out while we run towards the tyre station.
we sit there for 10 minutes and as the time passes everyone either looks at each other or stares at the ground.
the great thing with tropical rain is that is dumps its load and then moves on quickly.
it was time to return to Alona, burnt, tired , hot and sticky.
the journey is swift. the return route is paved highway, double laned in most sections and by now i have got the hang of the shooter riding. passing cars and bikes making good time… slightly gloating to marge that I’m a local rider now …. I even toot before passing to let other road users know I’m coming past….. LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING PRO!!.
we get back to Glamping Alona and our washing is done from the laundry service, marge drops that off to room and i sit at the bar and have some well deserved hydrating Sam Miguel Pilsen Beer for a total of 2.10 NZD per bottle.
Snowy is in the pool making sure the water is at the right chlorine levels.
At 5Pm we decide we need to go to the 7/11 and get some sunset snacks and a few beers for the sunset…. instructions by Agustin to do so, we settle on an assortment of Filipino Crisps, dried nuts and a few beers to enjoy.
the Beach is around 8 KM away and is called Panglao Beach, it looks across the Philippines North West and allows for a great picture.
we get our timing perfectly at around 20 minutes before sunset, we plonk ourselves on the beach with the Bluetooth speaker and take photos and videos until the sun goes down behind the hills in the distance.
Filipino crisps are similar to what we have in NZ however I would say slightly more sweet… they are edible but they don’t come close to a good old Bluebird crisp!.
Upon our return to Glamping Alona marge wants to pack for our boat ride tomorrow but i convince her that we should just chill and enjoy the good day we had… we have plenty of time to pack in the morning.
the Accommodation is eerily still and we are the only ones at the Bar, I don’t have anymore beer ; just a coke will do me
after dinner Augustin come over to us rather intoxicated glowing lie the sun and offers us to play “connect 4” with him. and all i can say its a great game. and Augstin was a Pro… until his Alcohol got time too focused on trying to win and not assessing the board properly. i call my wins luck.
its time to call it a night, its been a long hot day of adventure.
as much as Donald Trump is a Moron… he makes some great quotes…. they probably aren’t his, as they are far to intelligent
When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough.
-Donald Trump- 2018
Quantum Entanglement 