Lost in translation

As humans we often come across people who are extraordinarily different and for some reason other than another we connect with them on levels that only those two people will understand and it’s a quantum entanglement that cant be explained by logic or reason. Some time people just click like a puzzle

Today is my final day in Ukraine and i can happily say that it is a country i would come back to in a heart beat, my time here has been not life changing but enriching in culture, friendships and self awareness.

Often people will ask “why the Ukraine”… its a simple response…. why not the Ukraine

If you have never thought about visiting I suggest you do it. Don’t think about just catch train, plane or bus and explore this beautiful country or history and amazing people.

The Dream hostel in Kiev is certainly the place to stay at as it provides an amazing atmosphere of travellers from near and far who all want to be part of a community.

It is about 10.30 Am, David and i arrived last night at about 10PM and i went straight to bed to ensure my last day in Kiev was the best yet and i was well rested for the events that would take place.

Breakfast was at the cafe beside the hostel and it never fails to disappoint, the breakfast dumplings are a dish i could quite happily eat every day and i will be certain to make my own attempts back in New Zealand to replicate these wee beauties and share them with friends and family.. they are a hidden gem of the world.

As i ate David was still asleep making most of the modern facilities and comfortable bed that we didn’t have in Odessa, after i had finished it was time to take my usual seat outside on the Pallet makeshift seating that i had parked myself many times before.

I got talking to 2 German tourists who seemed to be having a rather difficult time getting there credit cards to work, i shared my experience with the ATMs that took me a few hours to sort out about 10 days prior when i first arrived, they greatly appreciated my 2 cents worth and i tried to be as helpful as i could while maintaining my finest pigeon english.

David came down and i gave him a brief run down of there issue and he started up in his finest German and put me to shame quite quickly.

I have been asked not to name these 2 girls for privacy reasons as they both know that my blog is a direct transcription of the daily events. We will call them German 1 and German 2 throughout this blog post.

David and i had already made a small plan for our day and explained to G1 & G2 what we were up to and asked if they would like to join us for our daily excursions for my final day in Kiev.

They said they would be happy to join as it was only there second day in the city and would like some expertise knowledge of the area… what they didn’t know is that they were traveling with the 2 worst tourists in the Ukraine and we bluff our way through most days by the seat of our pants.

First things first we have to help them get some funds to fuel their second day in the great city of Kiev.

Our first stop is a BNP Parabis bank branch, they have never let David or I down yet and we think that this is likely to be a good option so we head out of hostel and take a left and make our short walk to the branch.

The ATM is located outside on the exterior of the bank, traditionally I wouldn’t use these machines however I’m a firm believer that an ATM at a bank branch is far safer when withdrawing money than using the random street ATM’s that don’t have and branding or any sign of someone who checks them regularly.

We try the Machine and German 2’s credit card says wrong pin…… hmm strange we are positive she is using the right card and right pin but for some reason the machine wont allow a withdrawal.

David banks with a similar bank and i stand by when i say this “that not all hero’s wear capes”

David out of the kindness of his heart makes a withdrawal for German 2 of 5000 Hryvnia to help tie her over until we can work out the logistics of her VISA cards.

Our next point of call is Paul our lovely friend from the land of didgeridoos and Kangaroos, he extended his trip for an extra week and checked into a hotel, i give him a call via facebook and we arrange to meet in the local square by our hostel, he is a few subway stops away and will take about 40 minutes to join us, in the interim we take some time to try a few more bank ATMs to make sure German 2’s cards aren’t locked to a specific network of banks throughout Europe.

We meet up with Paul at about 2.15 pm and told him our plan, first stop was the worlds deepest subway station and then we would go and visit “The mother of Ukraine” he has been to both and will provide an excellent armature tour guide for the day.

We hop on the Local metro system and head into the centre of town, the metro is primitive you buy a token which is a wee plastic chip or coin that costs 8 Hryvnia and that gives you access to the tube system, we have to go 2 stops on the blue line to the town centre then hop on the Red line and carry on another 2 stops to the deepest subway station

We get to the centre of town in orderly fashion with no hiccups and once we arrive at the centre we agree that its probably a good opportunity to get the girls on the local Telecommunications networks so they can keep in contact with all of there friends and families back home in Germany.

Kyiv star is the network i have had good coverage from and never had any issues with so we head to the local shop, its amazing in New Zealand our choice of Cell phones is very limited however the shops are wall to wall smart phones, there would probably be over 100 models to choose from and to be fair they all look the same.

The girls head to the counter whilst Paul and i browse the shelves tying to figure out if an iPhone X is any Cheaper in the Ukraine as personal electronic goods tend to be quite cheap here… and after some taps on the calculator at the New Zealand exchange rate….. and its no cheaper!

We exit the shop and determine that food is in need and that this would be a prime opportunity to take our new German companions to “Puzata Hata” so they know that if they ever need a cheap meal in this great county that there is always a kitchen near by that servers a reasonable meal at a very reasonable price, Paul knows the area well as his hotel is very close to where we are, he does a fantastic job of leading us up the promenades to wards our next location.

On the way we come to a water fountain that is recessed in granite stone and German 2 decides that seeing how it is so hot and we are all feeling uncomfortable that running through the fountain might be an ideal way to cool off, naturally spontaneous ideas are generally the best and i jump at the opportunity!

I assume that when i said yes i was being set up for a fail to run through it by my self… i was prepared for that but German 2 too my hand and i held on to make sure that she would follow through with the act of spontaneity.

We stand at the edge and on a countdown of 3…..2….1…… we Leg it, as the cool water hits my face and my shirt i realise that the jet stream’s emerging from the Granite are a lot heavier than initially anticipated at first glance, by the halfway mark we are both drenched to level of degree that would be similar to falling in a river, our shoes start to hydroplane as we cross at speed and towards the end to keep your balance is rather difficult, however we make it across “safely”…. well wet but safe, the exhilaration of acting like kids when you are both 27 some how makes you realise that in life you get confused… you. Forget that innocent fun is sometimes lost throughout the hustle of every life.

I had given my bag to Paul that i was thankful for as i would have regretted it heavily as there is no way it would have survived unscathed from the torrential fountain jets.

We wring our clothes out in the sun and agree that it is definitely time for food and Paul gets to it and takes us to our soup kitchen for lunch.

We had a heart meal of dumpling and assorted Ukrainian food for lunch, G1 & G2 are hesitant upon entering, as i was when i first went to “Puzata Hata” but with some guidance from the crew we showed them the ropes and they were naturals in a foreign cafeteria.

Lunch was devoured and then it was time to head to the deepest subway in the world!

The subway station is called Arsenalna and sits at 346Ft deep, there is one more station that is deeper and that is in Pyongyang in North Korea, it sits at 360FT however North Korea is not what. Would call a real subway as most people cant access the lower lines of that station.

Arsenalna was built during the soviets rise to power and like the catacombs it was used as bunker for government officials if in the event the Cold War became nuclear.

When you arrive at the platform there is not much to give away that this was once a platform built for war however upon closer inspection you start to notice the Soviet stars littered around the walls, they are made of brass and give a sense that this train station does hold some kudos throughout the city of Kiev.

To exit the train station it is a simple process , 2 giant escalators ascend from the depths of the station and take you from 346 Ft the surface, the estimated time to ascend the station is about 5 Minutes and gives us plenary of opportunity to take photos and become captivated by just how big the engineering challenges would have been to build this station.

Once we get to the top it actually puts us in a prime position to now gain access to the “Mother of Ukraine”

We pull our phones out and get google maps up, the walk will take 40 minutes, rather than punish the girls with our walking habits of 25 KM a day we decide to push the limits and get 2 Uber’s, as there is 5 of us we cant all squeeze into one car.

Paul and i order the cabs and wait patiently on the edge of the road for our cars to arrive.

David and I pile into one and i think in a test of character but also i wanted the girls to trust Paul as they had with us. he is a great guy, we told the girls to go with Paul in the other car, they looked at us like lost puppy dogs as we climbed into ur 1996 Dacia with 424000Km on the clock, we gave them re-assurance that he will look after them on the 6 Minute car ride to the Mother.

Both cabs took 2 different routes to the Statue, i said to David

“If he beats the other car we will give him a 100 Hryvnia tip”

We pull up to the statue and I remember seeing this Silver beauty perched on the hill from my cab ride into Kiev on my arrival.

The statue is a 340Ft Stainless steel statue of. Woman holding a sword and a shield, the Kiev Coat of arms on the shield glistens in the Sunlight and in all of her glory looking out across the city , she isn’t sad … but she isn’t happy she just watches and looks out towards the east.

The opportunity for phots of the statue were tough the sun shon directly behind her making our cameras struggle for focus but after and hour or so the light had shifted enough to get a clean shot.

At the monument there is a lot of WW2 History, there are 2 museums and a lot of artillery on display including helicopters, tanks and also war memorials.

We take some time here to look at the displays and get some photos.

It’s getting onto 6PM and I’m starting to dry out, the lack of water during the day is catching up and we all agree that beer is in desperate need!

One great thing about traveling with Germans is that beer is always a safe choice of beverage!

We get 2 Uber’s back to the Hostel and quickly rehydrated at the hostel and then set out for a night that i would only claim to be surreal, romantic and dangerous.

Our first stop was a bar bar that Luke took us to on our last night before we departed to Odessa, we took a seat outside and the first round of beers started, the sun is setting and i think we can all unanimously agree that so far today has been a great day.

We sit in the setting sun enjoying each other company, there is a flutter of Germanic conversation and i have learnt to just ya Jaaa repetitively until they realise that Paul and i have no idea what the hell they are talking about, luckily for us german number 2 is lost in cyber space and when she comes back to reality she joins the English side of the table and we all communicate normally while David is lost in conversation… and us….well we are lost in translation

We have a few more drinks and German number 1 wants to find a night club, we have befriended Leo the waiter and have asked him where a good night club was and he told us about that was on the waters edge.

We turn up at the club and it is playing a heavy bass beat with people throwing the self at the music, its not crowded so we head straight to the bar and it appears to be sponsored heavily by Jägermeister so we decide that this will be the poison of choice for the evening, we figure 5 shots of vodka and 5 Jager Redbulls

We take a seat out side on the rivers edge and share our stories and i seem to have a connection with German number 2 and we sit and talk in the light wind that is blowing up the river, for some reason she can ask me anything and in my alcohol infused state i am happy to share my secrets and story’s (a rarity in my life).i ask her intimate questions about her life and she seems open to share her stories.

As we sit there and a thunderstorm protrudes out of the clouds and starts lighting up the sky in forks of light strike the ground, we sit and enjoy the show, we get a few more drinks and the moment shared is something i would describe as beautiful.

2.30 Am comes around and it starts to rain, i turn to German number 2 and ask her to come up to the bridge, it is a giant overpass and as we leave the pub in the thunder and lightening torrential rain starts to pour down, we run through the thick droplets of rain and within seconds we are soaked beyond believe, my clothes are heavy and i feel the cool droplets of rain soak through every layer of clothing. I have on and my backpack as well.

We get to the top of the bridge and under the rain storm of thunder and lightening we kiss only focusing on the moment at hand, as the Adrenalin flows through our veins you feel nothing but euphoria and for 2 minutes we embrace each other’s company and a part of me wishes it would never end.

We run back to under the over pass and console each other in our drenched closed trying to figure out if what we experienced was alcohol or a more deeper connection….

We return to the bar in lightening form with german number 2 losing her shoe on the way back in a puddle, when we enter the bar the bouncer locks the gate behind us with a padlock that would probably withstand a bullet from a high powered rifle.

We go back and see the others and they cant quite figure out why we are so wet and we don’t tell a word of what took place in the storm of the century.

German 2 is cold and we decide that we have to dry her off, i had given a tip of 200 Hryvnia to a older lady cleaning up the empty cups and she took this in great stride she takes german number 2 to the ladies bathroom and gets her to take her top off (i didn’t witness this as i am a gentleman) and when she returns she has a white fluffy jumper on that in all fairness looks quite warm.

We take shelter until the bouncer unlocks the door and allows us to exit the club.

It’s still raining but not as heavily, we decide that this is our exit time. David and i call some Uber’s and we head back to the hostel.

Upon arriving it is about 4.30am and we all decide that water is essential so we head to the local supermarket to get refreshments.

Upon entering the supermarket there is a stray dog outside and we all agree that he needs to be fed, when we are inside we find a dinner fit for any king! The dog will dine out on salami and Dog food!

At the check out i realise that i am leaving David tomorrow so i think i need to buy him the finest Ukrainian playboy at a total cost of 3 NZD… Bargain.. i hope her will keep it and treasure it for many years to come.

We head back to the hostel and decide that it is time for bed, i have to fly out tomorrow at 12 PM to Romania and everyone realises the gravity of the situation of loosing a friend to there travels, and unfortunate my visa is up with no way of renewal.

I put my head on the pillow for 3 hours of somber rest from one of the best days i have ever had……

“Following the light of the sun , we left the old world behind” – Christopher Columbus